Timeline Page 1 of 9

Oct 18th, 2014 thru Nov 6th, 2014

Car Damage
Oct 18th, 2014 4:15pm

Vacation
Nov 2nd, 2014 thru Nov 6th, 2014

Dec 25th, 2014

On Christmas day we went to Andrea's parents house to spend time with her family. John (Andrea's Father) spent the majority of the afternoon laying in bed, recovering from a recent back surgery. I decided to take the opportunity to try and speak with him about the problems Andrea was experiencing.

I knocked on the bedroom door and was told to come in. After I entered, I closed the door behind me and John muted the television. I explained that I wanted to talk with him privately about Andrea.

John laid on the bed with his hands cusped behind his head and staring at the muted television while I spoke. His gaze never deviated the entire time I was in the room. I understood his body language, but not the reason for it.

I told him about the problems Patrick and I had observed Andrea experiencing, that she acknowledged these problems, and that she had seen her doctor about them, but did not seem to be improving. I explained that Andrea had admitted to suffering from depression and bulimia, and asked if Andrea had spoken to him or Patrice (Andrea's Mother) about these issues. He replied that she hadn't, so I asked him if he or Patrice would consider speaking with Andrea over our concerns, because I felt she was not addressing them appropriately.

John paused before answering, cleared his throat, and said to me, “You just need to treat her better.”

After a few awkward moments of silence, he picked up the remote and unmuted the television, effectively signaling that the conversation was over.

I decided not to question his response, knowing it would likely lead to an argument on Christmas. I knew he had been complaining of considerable pain throughout the day and taking medications, but despite this, I felt there must be another explanation for his callousness.

Jan 19th, 2015 thru Jan 24th, 2015

I had to travel to Las Vegas, NV on business to attend a convention which lasted for five days. Andrea and Patrick remained at home. Andrea and I talked on the phone and texted each other every day. We discussed my trip, our son, and other familiarities, but nothing out of the ordinary or alarming.

Message to Andrea
Jan 19th, 2015 6:42pm

CHRIS: sent photo of menu

ANDREA: What are you getting?

CHRIS: I don't know

ANDREA: Bringing me a doggy bag?

CHRIS: Yeah I'll fedex it

ANDREA: Lol

ANDREA: Miss you

CHRIS: Miss you too

Looking Back

Text, email, and voicemail messages between Andrea and I proved relevant in discrediting allegations of abuse made against me by Andrea's parents to Social Services on April 28th, 2015.

Below are a few of the allegations made in the complaint by Andrea's parents:

“Andrea suffered years of unreported abuse by Chris. She could not report it because Chris has always threatened to leave and take Patrick with him. She was unable to file an Emergency Protective Order because she knew he would come after her and kill her.”

If Andrea was waiting for an opportunity to escape with Patrick that provided her the time to file an Emergency Protective Order and find a safe place to stay, my five day trip to the western United States would have certainly provided her the occasion to do so.

Another allegation by Andrea's parents that was found to be a lie by the judge presiding over Andrea's guardianship hearing:

“Andrea has left Chris a couple of times in the past and we took her to The Center for Women and Families.”

Andrea has never left me throughout our marriage. There were no records of Andrea ever staying at the The Center for Women and Families and would have been documented if she had done so.

Also in their complaint, Andrea's parents claimed to have knowledge of multiple incidents of abuse committed by me prior to Andrea coming to their home on March 2nd, 2015. If this was true, and they were aware of the danger that Andrea and Patrick were being exposed to, why would they wait until after Andrea was hospitalized to report it?

Feb 27th, 2015 thru Mar 2nd, 2015

Time to think
Feb 27th, 2015 3:00pm

Andrea's physical and mental problems were not improving, only getting worse. We decided that I would take Patrick and stay a few days at my parents house to allow her time to sort through her issues and develop a plan to start feeling like herself again. Patrick and I left on Friday after school and stayed through the long weekend, returning Monday afternoon.

Message from Andrea
Feb 28th, 2015 2:32am

ANDREA: I miss you guys but I appreciate you giving me this time. I love you

CHRIS: Miss you too

Return home
Mar 2nd, 2015 6:30pm

After Patrick and I arrived home, we found Andrea sleeping upstairs. We attempted to talk to her, but found she was in a stupor. She was lethargic and speaking in a hushed tone. She once again explained that she was not feeling well and needed to sleep. I became frustrated when she did not provide any further explanation and we returned downstairs. Andrea called for me a short time later and asked me to lay down and watch a movie with her. I laid down next to her and she quickly went back to sleep. I told her I was going downstairs to clean the house and would appreciate her help. She told me she had just laid down before we arrived home and needed a “short nap”, but would help afterwards. I was upset by what I perceived as laziness, and returned downstairs.

Asking her to leave
Mar 2nd, 2015 8:00pm

Two hours passed. I decided to wake Andrea and try to talk to her. I asked her what she had accomplished during her weekend alone and what her plans were for moving forward. She told me, “I need to be a better wife and mother.” That was the entirety of her response. I explained to her I was upset that she was given the entire weekend to think through her issues and develop a plan, but had only managed to come up with a one line response that did not address her issues. I explained that she had always been an excellent wife and mother, and that the time alone was meant to provide an oppurtunity to reflect on her issues and develop a plan to work through them. She sat in silence for a long while, and I was becoming increasingly frustrated. I told her that we could not continue like this, and that her behavior was causing Patrick and I a great deal of stress. I told her that she needed to go and stay with her parents until she was able to develop a plan to deal with her problems, but she continued to sit in silence. I retrieved a duffel bag from our closet and began to fill it with her clothes. She stated that she did not want to go and pleaded with me to stop packing and promised to find another therapist to help her. I told her that she had been making these promises for months to no avail, and that I believed she had no real intentions of doing so.

I did not want Andrea to leave. Over the past few months I tried countless times to convince Andrea to get help. I have pleaded, begged, told her I was considering divorce, and even threatened to take out a mental inquest warrant to have her forcibly evaluated, but nothing would ever come of it except more promises. I could not watch her continue to spiral downward and do nothing to help herself. I believed that making her leave would finally convince her to deal with her issues.

Andrea and I came downstairs and explained to Patrick that she was going to stay at her parents for a few weeks while she worked through her problems. She kissed Patrick and I goodbye. I walked her out to the car and she began to cry. She told me she did not want to leave and made more promises to get help. I repeated that I did not believe she would do so, and to please get help for all our sakes. I asked her to call me when she arrived at her parents house. She got into her car and drove away.

Where is she?
Mar 2nd, 2015 8:40pm

After 30 minutes, I had not received a call from Andrea confirming that she had arrived at her parents home. I attempted to call her phone several times, but she did not answer, and I began to worry. I logged into our Apple iCloud account to track the location of her phone. It showed that Andrea was at a movie theatre a short distance from our home. I got Patrick in the car and drove to the theatre.

When I arrived, I found Andrea's car in the rear of the parking lot and her father's truck next to it. I saw Andrea and John standing outside of the vehicles talking and that John was holding her bag . I pulled up and asked Andrea what she was doing. John instructed Andrea not to speak to me and get in his truck. They drove off without speaking to us. Andrea's car was left with the passenger door open. I secured her car and drove home.

Message to Andrea
Mar 2nd, 2015 9:08pm

CHRIS: I'm not sure why that happened that way. I'm not sure why you could not just drive to your parents house. I'm not sure why you ignored patrick. i am not sure why your dad told you to just get in the car and ignore us. what did i do to you to deserve this? Did anything I say today get through?

CHRIS: Please call Patrick.

CHRIS: please do not forget about your appointment tomorrow

ANDREA: I love you so much and want this to work so badly. I just feel like we are working against each other.

CHRIS: I'm not sure how to respond. I'm not trying to work against you. I feel like you are trying pull away. I feel like you have painted me with a evil paintbrush to your parents and unfortunately it is backfiring. I understand the need to have people that support you when you are down, i really do, but i do not think you are aware of the consequences. patrick is suffering i am suffering but it seems that does not phase you until things have gone too far. I love you and I miss the woman I married. I hope you get help.

Looking Back

I would soon come to the painful realization that asking Andrea to leave, no matter the intention, was the worst mistake I have ever made. Unfortunately, this was not an exaggeration.

Mar 4th, 2015 thru Mar 5th, 2015

Hidden proof
Mar 4th, 2015 1:00pm

I decided that our house needed a thorough cleaning and doing so provided a momentary escape from our problems. I began in our laundry room and disconnected the washer and dryer so that I could mop. I pulled both machines into the kitchen and noticed that missing socks, bags, and other forgotten items were left behind. I put the socks in the laundry basket, put away a few of the items that were worth keeping, and took what was left over to the trash can. I noticed some of the bags were not empty and checked them before throwing them away. I found empty Heaven Hill vodka bottles along with receipts, some just a few days old. The reality of Andrea's problems came over me like a tidal wave and the shock persisted as I stood there and processed what I had discovered. Shock soon gave way to panic and I ran upstairs and began searching our bedroom. In Andrea's chest of drawers I found numerous miniature bottles of Fireball whiskey wrapped inside of socks. A few were unopened, some were empty, and others contained varying amounts. I needed to call Andrea.

Andrea acknowledged that she had a drinking problem, she never attempted to deny or make excuses for the bottles I found. Her voice was not panicked, like I expected, but surprisingly pragmatic and unemotional. She explained that she had been drinking for a long time, but offered few other details. She stated that she was going to get help, but that she needed to do so on her own. I attempted to convince her to allow me to help her with this, but she kept telling me that she needed to do this on her own. I did not understand her reasoning and I told her that I could not just sit by idly while she tried to solve her problems while continuing to drink. I knew John was at the house with Andrea. I told her that she needed to tell him about her problem and that she needed help, but she refused. I insisted, and threatened to drive over there myself, if she refused to do so. She grudgingly agreed. I told her that after she talked with her father, that he needed to call me and verify that he was aware of the problem. Andrea said she would and we ended the conversation.

I spoke with Patrick and showed him the bottles I found. I asked him if he ever saw his mom drinking from bottles like the ones I showed him. He explained that after his doctors appointment last Monday, he saw Andrea throw away a Heaven Hill vodka bottle while pumping gas at Thorntons. He said that he knew it was alcohol, but that he thought that she used it for cooking. I believe that Patrick knew more than he was sharing, but I could see that he felt ashamed for not telling me sooner. I thanked him for telling me, and decided not to ask him any other questions at that time.

Finding more
Mar 4th, 2015 2:33pm

I continued searching our bedroom for bottles and found more inside the pockets of old clothing hidden away in our closet. I gathered some of the bottles I found, placed them on the counter and took a photo. I sent the photo to Andrea.

CHRIS: Promise me and Patrick you will not drink any alcohol. I keep finding bottles.

ANDREA: I promise

CHRIS: sends photo of found bottles

Waiting for confirmation
Mar 4th, 2015 4:20pm

I received a text message from Andrea 2 hours later that she was talking to her father and would call soon. I waited another hour and began texting her for an update, but she would not respond.

ANDREA: Still talking

ANDREA: I will call in a bit

CHRIS: K

CHRIS: ?

CHRIS: Please talk to me

CHRIS: Please don't do this. I'm begging you.

CHRIS: Patrick saw you throw away the heaven hill bottle at the gas station after his doctors appointment last week. Why are you ignoring this? You have a problem and I'm trying to help you.

Andrea finally responds
Mar 4th, 2015 8:15pm

Andrea finally called several hours later. She explained to me that she did tell her father, but that he did not want to get involved in our personal issues. I told her I did not believe this, and after several story variations she finally admitted that what she told him was, “Chris thinks I have a drinking problem”, but did not tell him that she actually had a problem. She pleaded with me not to involve her parents because she did not want them to worry or cause disappointment. She told me that she called and made a counseling appointment for Wednesday the following week, but I did not believe her. Andrea's frantic tone made it obvious that she would say anything to keep me from informing her parents, but I also knew I was not in a position to demand anything, and felt doing so could jeopardize our marriage. I explained how concerned I was about her problem, that it appeared serious, and that she needed to tell her father the truth. She agreed, but made no firm commitment to do so.

Over the following weeks I continued to find more bottles hidden in our garage, the attic, and inside the pockets of old coats. I even discovered a vinegar bottle filled with vodka in the back of our pantry.

The truth
Mar 5th, 2015 10:19am

CHRIS: Did you tell your dad the truth?

ANDREA: Yes. Told him about appointment Wednesday

ANDREA: School is closed again tomorrow

CHRIS: That's not telling him the truth.

Notifying the family
Mar 5th, 2015 1:40pm

Frustrated by Andrea's failure to address her alcohol problem honestly, I felt that I needed to involve her family. I sent this message via sms and email to Andrea's parents and her 2 sisters. I never received a response from any of them.

Please read this in it's entirety. See the pictures I have attached. I apologize for moments of rambling but I am exasperated.

Andrea needs help. Immediate help. This cannot wait any longer and we must do something now. She is suffering from alcoholism, but has lead us to believe it is solely depression and bulimia. I did not know this until I found Heaven Hill Vodka and Fireball Whiskey bottles inside 2 bags next to the dyer hidden underneath a laundry bag. There was a receipt found for one empty bottle dated 3 days ago. I then went upstairs and began searching our room for bottles and found numerous more empty and partially empty mini-bottles of the Fireball whiskey stashed throughout her clothes drawers. I have not searched the rest of the house yet, but I am sure there are more. Patrick seeing all the bottles I had recovered told me “Mommy had one of those at the gas station when we went to the doctor”, referencing a doctors appointment andrea took him to on Monday. I asked him to explain and he pointed to one of the Heaven Hill bottles and said “It was that one, she threw one in the trash while pumping gas. I thought she used it for cooking”.

I confronted Andrea on the phone yesterday about the empty bottles and patrick's statements. She admitted she knew she had a problem and was “getting help” for it. I explained to her that she had told everyone that she was getting help for depression and bulimia and that she never told anyone about the alcohol problem. I explained she was getting help to satisfy us that she was trying but never planned on getting help for the alcoholism that is killing her. She does not want to stop drinking. I told her that she needs to tell her dad right now about the problem and get help immediately. I also told her that she needs to have John call me after the talk to confirm that she in fact did tell him. She finally agreed to that and went to speak to John. I waited for 1 hour and started to text her when I did not hear back from her. She finally called me back 2 hours later. She told me she told her dad about the problem and again stated she was going to “get help”. She explained that her dad did not want to get involved in our personal issues. I pressed the issue on what she told John because I refused to believe that he would hear this and not want to “get involved”. She finally told me that she told him “Chris thinks I have a drinking problem”, not that she actually acknowledged the problem. She explained she did not want her parents to be dissaponted in her and pleaded with me to just let her goto her counseling appointment on Friday. ( She has already skipped 2 ). I truly believe Andrea knows she has a alcohol problem and keeps giving herself dates in the future get help, but like most alcoholics they want time to continue their habit.

HISTORY
I first started to notice andreas depression worsen in late october, by december 1st it turned into a full blown collapse that I should have taken action on immediately. She was no longer able to complete tasks and began living on the couch on a full-time basis. She refused, verbally refused, to do any house cleaning. She would always tell me “No, not now” or “I'm not feeling well”. She was no longer able to adeqauately take care of Patrick and on one ocassion refused to fix patrick breakfast and patrick ate cheetos instead.

BULIMIA
When you all noticed these problems and asked her about it she apparently gave you all the impression that it was Bulimia, which may or may not exist but is not the core problem. Bulimia provided an excuse for her constant vomiting and her lethargy. I believed it as well, it made sense.

BROKEN PROMISES
In mid december I began threatening Andrea with divorce if she did not get professional help and shape up. She promised she would and to just give her til december 31st. I agreed. The date came and passed with no change. I realize now it was another ploy of an alcoholic who knows they need to quit, but does not want to quit “right now”. Patrick during this period would continually tell Andrea he wanted his mother back and she would tell him she was working on it. There are an endless list of these broken promises.