Timeline Page 4 of 9

May 18th, 2015 thru Jun 20th, 2015

Move to Kindred
May 18th, 2015 10:00am

I arrived today to find that Andrea was being prepared to leave Norton's Suburban Hospital and transported to Kindred Hospital downtown on St. Anthony Place. While I was glad to find out that Andrea had improved enough to begin the next phase of her convalescence, I was upset to find out that this move had been planned for over a week and I was never told.

Painful words
May 25th, 2015 7:30pm

A nurse came into the room to change Andrea's clothes. I took Patrick out into the hallway while this was being done. One of the doctors who treated Andrea at Norton's arrived and I explained to him that we were waiting for the nurse to finish.

I asked if he could answer a few questions about Andrea's progress for me, hopeful that he would be accommodating since John and Patrice were inside Andrea's room. He waited for me to continue. I explained to him that I had been told that Andrea's liver was damaged, but healing, and that her confusion would begin to abate as her liver healed and able to remove the ammonia from her system. I said that I was told that Andrea had a excellent chance of making a near complete recovery and asked him to confirm this.

The doctor stood silent for a moment. I was afraid that he had decided not to answer my question, but spoke after a few seconds.

“You are correct that Andrea's liver has improved, but we are not able to determine the true extent of the damage without a biopsy. Your understanding of the damage sustained to your wife's brain, I'm sorry to say, is incorrect. It is still to early to speculate on the amount of cognitive functionality that Andrea has lost or will retain, but I can say that the damage to her brain was extensive and permanent. The chances of a recovery to a cognitive level near the one prior to her inury, is unfortunately not very likely. I am very sorry.”

I thanked him, and he continued to Andrea's room.

I was devestated by what I had just been told. Patrick began to cry and I did the same as I embraced him. We walked together down the hall towards the waiting room to find a place we could sit for a while.

Andrea's hypoxic brain injury was the result of high concentrations of ammonia in her blood. Ammonia is produced by bacteria in our intestines and our body's cells while processing protein. Our liver acts as a filter and converts that ammonia into urea before being eliminated by the kidneys via our urine. If our liver is damaged, the ammonia cannot be eliminated and permeates the blood-brain barrier preventing the brain from consuming an adequate supply of oxygen.

I love you
May 18th, 2015 10:00am

During my visit with Andrea this morning she decides to tell me, “I love you.” Endearing as her words were, I was concerned by the manner in which Andrea had been speaking since I arrived. Patrice has developed the habit of speaking to Andrea in the same tone that a parent uses when speaking to their small child, and Andrea has learned to respond in kind, as is clearly evident in this audio clip.

A great and terrible day
May 29th, 2015 9:05am

When I arrived this morning Andrea was receiving paracentesis, a procedure used to remove the abnormal buildup of fluid in the abdomen (ascites). I immediately sense she is in a poor mood and not very talkative. Judy (Andrea's aunt) is present and reading a book.

Andrea's mood begins to noticeably improve at 10:15 AM. She asked me where Patrick was and I explained that he was at school and was participating in a field day. I tell Andrea that Patrick only has a few days left as a fourth grader. Andrea asks me several questions about the people that came to visit her the day before. I had to remind her of their names, but the fact that she was able to remember the visit and recall some of the details were a new sign of improvement. These interactions are the longest continuous conversations we've shared since Andrea was admitted to the hospital.

At 12:45 PM Judy tells me to stop talking to Andrea so that she can fall asleep. Andrea is obviously not tired, but I comply. When Andrea realizes that I am no longer responding to her, she begins to ask repeatedly if I am still there. Andrea is then silent for several minutes and looks about the room. She begins talking to people who are not there, and this continues for about 30 minutes before I decide to re-engage her in conversation. When Andrea heard my voice, she extended her hand out in my direction. I offer her my hand and she holds onto it tightly. Andrea asks me to kiss her. I look towards Judy, to ensure she heard Andrea's request, and lean over to kiss her. We begin talking again and I am very excited for the possibility of Andrea having a very good day.

At 2:30 PM I tell Andrea that I have to leave to get Patrick from school. I explained that I would not be returning because Patrick spent several hours here the day before. Andrea asks me to please come back. She tells me that she wants to see Patrick and spend more time with me. I am elated by her request, it has been such a great day and I know that it may be a very long time before we get to experience a day like this again. I tell her that I will pick up Patrick and be right back.

There are few moments in life that are so profound or surreal that they remain indelibly in your memory. I was about to experience one of those moments. Andrea pulled my hand to her chest. She looked directly at my face and said, “I Love You. I am sorry for the drinking and the lies.” I was shocked, and did not say anything for several seconds before telling her she had nothing to apologize for. She then said, “I just want to go home and sit on the couch and watch movies together.” Those 2 sentences were the clearest and most recognizable speech that I have heard Andrea produce since her hospitalization. I felt myself beginning to cry. I told her that we would do just that as soon as she was better. I kissed her softly and told her that I would be back shortly.

I looked at Judy and noticed that she was on her phone texting. I told her that I would be back after picking up Patrick from school, but she did not respond.

I returned a little over an hour later with Patrick. I was not surprised to find Patrice had arrived in my absence and was sitting next to Andrea's bed. She was telling Andrea repeatedly that Andrea was confused and having a bad day. Andrea was crying. I asked what the problem was, and Judy said, “She has been like this all day.” I became upset and told Judy that she knew that was not the truth and that Andrea was having a great day. John then arrived and walked over behind Patrice who was continuing to tell Andrea that she was confused and encouraging her to try and sleep, but Andrea continued to cry. Patrice then turned her attention to me and said that I needed to leave because I was upsetting Andrea. I shook my head in disbelief and told her that this was inexcusable. She repeated that I needed to leave. Patrick was seated, but then stood up, grabbed my hand, and lead me towards the door into the hallway.

When we reached the elevator and waited for the doors to open, Patrick asked me why they did that. He was upset, as was I, and I told him that I did not know, but that they were wrong. Very, very wrong.

Move your hand
Jun 5th, 2015 2:57pm

I was sitting next to Andrea's bed, holding her hand, while I spoke with her. John, sitting on the opposite side and reading a newspaper, tells me to move my hand away from Andrea's. When I refuse, he informs me that Andrea had rules in place to prevent me from visiting with her (alluding to the Power of Attorney), but that he and Patrice had decided to allow me to anyway.

At this point, I had not seen, or received a copy of, the Power of Attorney. John and Patrice had refused all of my requests. My attorney obtained a copy of the Power of Attorney on July 2, 2015. It was signed and notarized on March 30th, 2015, the day Andrea was hospitalized. It did not contain any of the rules that John says were added.

JOHN: Move your hand please so she can quit touching you.

CHRIS: No

JOHN: Let me explain this to you.

CHRIS: Okay

JOHN: She put a ruling in. We let you visit.

CHRIS: I have not seen that ruling.

JOHN: Well she put it in and we haven't told you about it. So please I'm only going to ask you nice one more time...

CHRIS: Then What?

JOHN: Then I'm gonna ask, talk to Patrice about having you thrown out of the hospital.

Andrea sent to ICU
Jun 15th, 2015 9:50am

Patrick and I arrived this morning to find that Andrea was no longer in her room. A nurse explained that Andrea was moved to the ICU, but could not tell me any other information.

Patrick and I raced down to the 2nd floor where the ICU was located. A nurse pointed us to Andrea's room. Patrice was sitting in a chair and immediately rose in an attempt to block us from entering any further, telling me that I was not allowed here and needed to leave, pressing us to exit into the hallway. Once outside the room, Patrice told the desk nurse that she was Andrea's Power of Attorney, that the hospital had the paperwork, and that I was no longer allowed to visit Andrea. The nurse called for hospital security, and asked us to wait outside the ICU until they arrived.

After security arrived, I gave him a brief history of the events since Andrea's hospitalization, followed by an explanation of what had occurred after we entered the ICU (although I wasn't sure why it occurred). Patrick and I were taken to the administration offices located on the 1st floor, and waited in a conference room for a hospital administrator to speak with us.

Banished from hospital
Jun 15th, 2015 10:35am

The administrator spoke with us for approximately 20 minutes. She said that even though I was Andrea's husband, and that this was a “legal gray area”, they were bound to obey Patrice's wishes because she had a Power of Attorney. The administrator explained that, absent a court order, I was not to return to the hospital.

Message to Patrice
Jun 17th, 2015 3:58pm

Patrick and I sat at home for 2 days waiting and hoping that Patrice would contact us to work out some kind of compromise on visiting with Andrea, but that did not happen.

I sent her a text message hoping to at least convince her to update us on Andrea's condition, but failed to make any progress.

CHRIS: I am unsure why you are preventing me from visiting Andrea or updating me with her condition, but please understand I am her husband and I am raising our son. This is not a game. Patrick and I love Andrea and you are purposely withholding information from us that we need to know.

PATRICE: Andrea asked you to leave. She does not want you to visit. We would be happy to pick up Patrick and take him to visit Andrea.

CHRIS: Andrea has not asked me not to visit her. The time you are referring to occured last week when she was agitated and asked me to leave. She also stated she did not want to talk to Patrick, so Im thinking she was not acting very clear. Regardless I left without question. If you remember correctly a couple weeks ago she asked for you all to leave as well. You laughed it off and told her “OK, we'll leave.” Andrea told me a couple weeks ago that she was sorry for the drinking and the troubles. She also told me she loved Patrick and I very much and that she just wanted to come home to us and watch movies together. This was the same statement that was said in front of Judy that I asked you about. As soon as Andrea said it, Judy was on her phone texting. I assumed she texted you and John. When I returned an hour later with Patrick you were there talking to her as she was crying. You were telling her she was confused and having a bad day.

CHRIS: This situation has spiraled out of control and lines have been drawn. In the end no one wins. If you refuse to work the visitation out with me I will abide until I am asked or legally able to do so, but I need to be accurately appraised of her medical condition.

Message to Patrice
Jun 20th, 2015 1:53pm

Andrea and I's 12th wedding anniversary was June 21st (the following day). I sent a text message to Patrice asking her to please allow us to visit with Andrea since it was our anniversary, but she would not allow it.

CHRIS: Will you please provide us the status of Andrea's condition since being put in ICU? There is no legitimate reason to keep us from knowing this and it is causing us a lot of heartache. Andrea would want us to know.

PATRICE: She is recovering from the seizures. She has not had any more. She is resting a lot.

CHRIS: Has she suffered any additional injury? We would like to know her mental condition and if it has been affected. Is she still talking? Does she have the same mental and physical capabilities she had prior to the seizures?

PATRICE: They have not found any additional injury. She is still talking sometime. She is a little weaker than before but is improving.

CHRIS: Tomorrow is our 12th anniversary. We would love to see her, but if you will not allow that please tell her we love her.

PATRICE: I will tell her you love her

CHRIS: Thank You

CHRIS: If andrea is able to talk and she is able to let patrick hear her voice please call and allow patrick to do that. he is crying over mommy never being able to see him.

PATRICE: She is not able to talk on the phone now.

Jul 2nd, 2015

I have waited a very long time to see the Power of Attorney that was being used to prevent Patrick and me from visiting with Andrea. I have asked John and Patrice numerous times to allow me to view it, but they were adamant in their desire to keep it from me. Today my attorney obtained a copy of the Power of Attorney that Andrea signed the day she was admitted to the ICU and he sent me an electronic copy.

After viewing the document it was obvious that it was not prepared by an attorney and was most likely downloaded from the internet. I do not argue the validity of Andrea's signature, but all the other areas of the form that needed to be filled-in were not completed by Andrea.

Jul 6th, 2015

Patrice,

I have admitted to you my culpability in Andrea's condition. I was emotionally unavailable, working too much, and yelled at her for being lazy when she was actually very sick. I relive these mistakes every single day. I am deeply sorry for failing her.

You, John, Kristiana and Renee have never accepted any responsibility for your failures. All of you have decided to not only lay the blame entirely at my feet, but to punish and humiliate me as well.

You created an elaborate web of accusations that painted me as an abusive rapist who drove Andrea to alcoholism as she desperately tried to flee the confines of the hell I subjected her too.

I am not naive. I understand that Andrea told you some version of at least one event. I realized this when the Social Worker read to me the following accusation:

“On one occasion, in Patrick's presence, Chris beat Andrea so severely that she could not pick herself up from the floor. Chris then ordered Patrick to go get a glass of water and throw it on her.”

I do not believe Andrea told you that, but there was an incident in February that I poured water on Andrea’s head in order to wake her up. The reality of what happened is that I returned home from Walmart and found Andrea laying on the floor next to Patrick who was sitting in a chair and playing video games. I asked her if she would put the groceries away while I brought them in from the car, but she did not respond. I went to her and asked her to wake-up and help me. Her responses were unintelligible so I told her I was calling an ambulance. She then told me she did not need one and that she was just tired. I got mad and told her to goto bed or lay on the couch. She again would not answer me after several attempts so I asked Patrick to get me a cup of water which he did and brought it back to me. I then poured the water on Andrea's head and she woke up. She then got mad, went and laid down on the couch and went back to sleep. I am in no way justifying pouring water on her head but I had been dealing with these types of incident's for months and was frustrated.

I do not know what else Andrea told you that was a lie except for the facts that she was not drinking and that she left me. I asked her to leave and that, in hindsight, was the biggest mistake I have ever made. The point is Andrea told lies to everyone because she was an alcoholic and needed to protect her secret. I know it was the disease telling lies, not Andrea, but you decided create your own version of our troubles in order to provide some sort of justification for Andrea's alcoholism and you told these lies to the entire family, hospital staff, Andrea's friends and Child Protective Services without regard to the consequences it would have for my family. I no longer hope for any form of remorse from any of you, but your reckless behavior has caused a great deal of suffering for Andrea and Patrick.

• In November I called Renee after Andrea fell to the kitchen floor and refused to get up. You called a short time later and yelled at me that Andrea's health issues were caused by “bulimia” and that I was aware of this.
• During Christmas I went to John and asked to speak to him about Andrea's “depression”. I told him that Andrea's behavior had become erratic and unbearable and that I needed the family's help. I was told “to treat her better”.
• On March 5th I texted you, John, Kristiana and Renee. I explained that I found numerous empty liquor bottles throughout the house while cleaning and that Andrea had an alcohol problem. I pleaded for you all to get her help immediately. I sent you pictures of all the bottles I found. All of you chose to ignore me. If any of you would have acted on this, we would not be in the position we find ourselves in today.
• On March 23rd Mark and I went to the house in an attempt to convince Andrea to allow us to take her to a alcohol treatment facility. Your neighbor was apparently instructed to call the police if they saw me and attempted to do so until Mark spoke to him. I went there for the sole purpose of convincing Andrea to get immediate help, but as Andrea explained later you convinced her that it was just another attempt by me to “control” the situation.
  * According to Andrea you often commented on how “controlling” I was. If you cannot see this is a problem that you have, you are truly blind.
• On March 26th I called the the house and spoke to John. I again stated that Andrea had a severe drinking problem and her medical issues were the result of her continued drinking. I told him that I had pulled our financial statements over the past 2 years and that they have revealed a pattern of liquor purchases several times a week. He told me “I know alcoholics and Andrea is not an alcoholic.” and “I can tell you Andrea is not drinking while she has been staying here.”
• During the 28 days that Andrea stayed at your and Renee's houses it was obvious that she was drinking more alcohol and more often. You all failed to monitor her after being warned she had a drinking problem.
• On March 29th Andrea admitted to you that she did have a drinking problem and the severity of that problem. Despite her admission the emergency room reports that Andrea's blood alcohol level was “Very High”. A high blood alcohol content that late in the afternoon could only be reached if Andrea was drinking that day. You all failed to monitor her a day after knowing she had a drinking problem.
• On May 29th Andrea was having a very good day. At 2:30 I told her that I needed leave to pick Patrick up from school. She looked directly at me and said “I'm sorry for the drinking and the lies. I love you and Patrick so much. I just want to come home, sit on the couch, and watch movies together”. I was stunned by the clarity and emotion of her statement. Judy, who also heard Andrea say this, appeared equally stunned and immediately started texting. I'm sure she was texting you and John. When I arrived back at the hospital with Patrick, I found that you were already there and at Andrea's bedside. Andrea was crying while you were telling her repeatedly “You are confused and just having a bad day”. You were upsetting Andrea because of the statements she made to me. You decided it was more important to convince Andrea she did not believe those statements then to avoid any stress your words might cause her. I do not see how you justify serving your own agenda over Andrea's health when she is in such a vulnerable state.

I never tried to make any of you feel the pain of these realizations by throwing them in your face each time you made me suffer. I never told these things to the countless people you lied to about me in order to provide a defense. I never brought your failures up at all.

I tried every way possible to get along but even as I allowed you, John, and Judy to humiliate me and control every aspect of Andrea's care, you refused to show any concern for the grief I was experiencing or for the suffering you were inflicting on my family. There are no excuses for such mean-spiritedness.

You held a Power of Attorney over me in order to ensure my compliance but repeatedly denied my requests to view it. I had to pay an attorney to see a document that you know morally should have been given to me without question. That Power of Attorney was signed by Andrea while she was terribly ill, under the influence of alcohol and your coercion. It was not Andrea that suggested “We should draw up a power of attorney before I go to the hospital”. It was done at the insistence of a calculating individual that spent time obtaining a generic form and having it notarized instead of getting Andrea the medical help she needed.

However wrongfully acquired, you have misused the power entrusted to you. You have repeatedly told me:

• It was Andrea that did not want you to come to the emergency room
• It was Andrea that did not want you at the hospital
• It was Andrea that said she did not want you to touch her
• It was Andrea that did not want you to speak to her doctors

I have dealt with your lies, half truths and intolerable behavior because I love Andrea, she is my world, and just because you don't want to believe that, does not make it untrue. I cannot imagine what you tell yourself in order to justify why I would come every day, but it doesn't really matter. My actions speak for themselves, regardless of any memes you, Kristiana or Renee post back and forth on Facebook.

You are destroying lives and not only the ones you care nothing about. I cannot adequately explain the pain and frustration that comes with trying to answer the questions “When are we going to see mommy again?” or “When is mommy coming home?” to a 10 year old boy who's mother meant everything to him. You are not the one that has to watch him cry every time his mind is idle for more than 15 minutes. You have taken his mother from him and broken his heart. Patrick does not want to be left alone at anytime with you or John because he fears you will try to take him away. Your actions have caused this. Frankly, at this point, I would never willingly allow you, John or anyone else you have enlisted to help you to see Patrick outside of my presence. I cannot trust any of you to keep my family's best interests above your own.

You have tried to take everything from me. I would have never done this to you. I can only hope that Andrea does regain her senses and discovers what you have done in “her name”.

Chris

Jul 13th, 2015

Patrice,

I am unsure if you have been notified of this, but on July 8th Child Protective Services closed their investigation as “Unsubstantiated”.

The allegations you made against me were not only felonious, but painted me as a monstrous individual who did not love or care for his wife and child.

I cannot find fault with your decision to report the allegations, that you claim were told to you by Andrea, but I can hold you accountable for the ones made that you knew were untrue; Specifically, the allegations that John and you had to remain at the hospital to prevent me from killing Andrea, that I had threatened John and you on multiple occasions to keep Patrick from you if you did not allow me to see Andrea, and that Andrea did not have medical insurance. The first allegation was an opinion made by you that in no way reflects any observed behaviors, and was solely meant to be inflammatory. The last two allegations were lies. I can also find fault in your decision to spread all of the allegations to countless people as if they were fact before the investigation was completed. You did this to serve your own personal need to justify Andrea's behavior.

Andrea was under an enormous amount of pressure from you and me to make a decision that would alienate her from the other. Andrea handled this pressure by telling each of us what we wanted to hear in order to placate and avoid confrontation. Andrea was not able to realize the consequences of this course of action due to her alcoholism and deteriorating medical condition. I hope you can see this as the reality of the situation and stop using the defense of “Andrea told us...” which can neither be proven or verified and is contradictory to the behavior she has exhibited during her moments of lucidity.

I am sure by now that you are aware that I have filed a Petition to Determine if Disabled and an Application for Appointment of Fiduciary with the Disability Court to be appointed guardianship over Andrea and overturn the Power of Attorney she signed. You have backed me into a corner and left Patrick and me with no alternatives.

I am asking that you end the moratorium that prohibits Patrick and me from visiting Andrea and that prohibits Andrea's doctors from speaking with me. If it were possible for me to see some level of reason or compassion on your part it would start the process of restoring a civil relationship that has been lost.

Also, as a matter of courtesy, I am letting you know that Patrick and I will be going out of town tomorrow morning for the remainder of the week. We will be traveling to Gettysburg, PA to see the National Park.

Chris

Jul 15th, 2015 thru Jul 20th, 2015

I again asked Patrice to allow Patrick and me to visit Andrea. I plead with her to be reasonable in the face of evidence, but she refuses.

Message to Patrice
Jul 15th, 2015 11:53am

PATRICE: What question are you talking about?

CHRIS: To please end the moratorium on visiting Andrea since the Child Protective Services investigation is closed as unsubstantiated and did Andrea sign a will in the hospital.

PATRICE: Patrick may visit Andrea. Andrea did not want you to visit. Yes Andrea signed a will.

CHRIS: Then may I ask why you allowed it in the beginning? More importantly you saw how she interacted with me. You read the letter at the link I sent you. Please stop doing this to us.

PATRICE: She wanted to see Patrick. I read the letter but don't agree with some of the things you said and don't care to argue with you. You have your opinion and I have mine. I know what Andrea said to me and that she asked you to leave and became very upset on two other occasions. I am doing what Andrea has asked me to do.

CHRIS: Then no amount of evidence or reason will dissuade you from that because it is what you want to believe. You keep taking away any choices I have to not escalate the situation and I wish you could see that it hurts us all. Why must you always assume I'm in the wrong? You did this over Barbados and Andreas affair. I understand loyalty to your daughter but you need to be more reasonable.

CHRIS: Patrice please. I do not see this as "arguing" but if you refuse to work with me now when I need you to, how can you reasonably expect any cooperation from me if and when you need it?

PATRICE: I am not trying to outmaneuver you. I am trying to help Andrea. When she moved in with us she asked us to keep you away from her. At the hospital she asked you to leave and told us she did not want you to come back. I am following her wishes. Patrick may come to visit.

CHRIS: You are asking me to believe that she said that in the face of evidence supporting the contrary. If she didn't want to see me she would not have gone to marriage counseling with me or said the things she said in text messages while she was staying with you or said the things she said to me in the hospital. You have to see this. Please be reasonable.

CHRIS: I will assume we are at an impasse. Patrick needs to see Andrea I will arrange for mark to take him at time convenient for you both. I ask that you allow Patrick to visit by himself with mark supervising because it would be very uncomfortable for him otherwise.

Message to Patrice
Jul 15th, 2015 10:49pm

CHRIS: Tonight I took Patrick to Outback for dinner. After ordering, Patrick began coloring his menu and appeared content. Within a few minutes he placed his head down into his crossed arms and began crying. I did not realize what was happening until I heard him sniffling and asked him what was wrong. He told me “I miss Mommy and I don't feel good”. I took him to the bathroom where he vomited several times. 5 minutes after returning to the table, he had to be escorted again to the bathroom again where he again vomited several times. When dinner arrived, he would not eat and laid his head down until we finished. He did the same thing last night before we went to bed. On the way home, I asked Patrick if he would be willing to visit Andrea if you or John remained in the room. You can hear the audio I attached. He was not aware I was recording. You need to understand that your decision to not allow him to see his mother has consequences. I do not see, and you refused to elaborate, how not allowing Andrea to see her son is in “Andrea's best interest”. I know your refusal is not in Patrick's best interest.

PATRICE: We all love Patrick. He should not have to choose between us. I would hope that as adults we could all work together to help him understand this. We care about Patrick and hate to see him suffer.

CHRIS: I spoke those same words to you on May 18th; “He does not need to feel like he has to choose sides. He loves us all.”

I said this after John questioned Patrick at the zoo about what he told Social Services, which upset Patrick enough that he felt the need to talk to me about it. This is something he rarely does because he has developed a form of avoidance as a coping mechanism to deal with his anxiety.

Patrick has witnessed you, John, and Judy literally yell at me inside Andrea's hospital room and observed countless times how I was prevented from communicating with his mother. Did you not understand that the manner in which you treated his father would have a negative effect upon him? Do you not recall the numerous times I asked you to maintain civility in Patrick's presence?

When Andrea was staying with you, Patrick would insistently ask her “When are you coming home Mommy?”, and Andrea would always tell him “Soon, I just need to get better”. Those words gave him the comfort of knowing that his mother would be home again. When Andrea was hospitalized and the reality of her medical condition became more clear to him, his avoidance strategy became more pronounced to combat the mounting grief he was experiencing. His constant need to occupy himself with books and video games provided him a temporary relief from dealing with his feelings. His anxiety was exacerbated by what he perceived as your attempts to break his family apart. This was the opinion of his therapist.

I completely agree with what you are saying, but your words have thus far contradicted your actions. I do not doubt that you care for Patrick, but you have given me cause to believe that those feelings are secondary to your need to maintain absolute control over this situation. I want nothing more than to put all this animosity aside and work together on all levels, and I feel that my actions and words show the truth of that, but compromise requires the assent of both sides.

Patrick is an intelligent and sensitive child. His mother was the most important person in his life. He suffered greatly, as did I, as we watched Andrea's physical and mental decline those last few months. Patrick has not seen his mother in over a month and has been forbidden from seeing her under the conditions that make it possible for him to visit without the pressure of “choosing sides”. If you want to work with me for Patrick's benefit then please allow Mark to take him to visit with Andrea in the manner he has requested. I do not believe it is unreasonable to ask that you leave the room to make him feel more comfortable.

PATRICE: We feel we have been civil to you. Yes when Andrea was getting upset we told you to leave her alone. When she moved in with us this is what she asked us to do. We compromised by letting you visit whenever you wanted until Andrea told you to leave. We agreed to let Mark bring Patrick for a visit. When Andrea was in room 437, Patrick and I went down to the waiting room on the floor to eat some blueberries and had a very nice visit. He was not at all uncomfortable with me. We would like for him to visit Andrea but feel we need to be there with Mark and Patrick.

CHRIS: You have been civil to me at times. Yelling, talking down to, and threatening me is not civil behavior. You also have devised tactics to limit my interaction with her. Almost every single time that I arrived at the hospital and asked “How is she doing?”, I was given a brief update accompanied by “She is tired and needs to rest” or some variation thereof. As Andrea's condition improved and she became more alert, this tactic was replaced with another you asked me to abide by that was in direct contradiction to the advice of doctors, published medical journals, and brain injury rehabilitation guidelines.

“A nurse said that it's like fireworks going off in Andrea's brain right now. Today I tried a different tactic. When she was awake I left her alone most of the time so she could sort things out herself. I figured when we talk to her and touch her it just adds to the fireworks. A lot of times she would calm herself down. Sometimes she got pretty worked up and I worked with her to calm her down. This seemed to work better.”

“Communication is important for a person's recovery. When they becomes agitated, DO NOT walk out on them or ignore them. Human contact and reassurance by family has a soothing effect. Touch them, wash their face or body with warm water, or play soft music.” - Brain Injury Association

The simple fact is that Andrea regularly asked if I was there, called for me by name, engaged me in conversation, reached for me to hold her hand, and ask me to kiss her. She did this in your presence and did it with the knowledge of your disapproval which was usually visibly evident.

The only time I saw that Andrea was upset with me was the one day in early June that she was agitated and asked asked me to leave, and subsequently told Patrick she did not want to speak to him either, so I do not believe that was a good day for her. I do not have any recollection of the “two other occasions” that you have referred to, but I have observed her become agitated with each of you as well. I have also heard her ask you to leave as well, but her requests did not apply to you.

Your statement “We compromised by letting you visit whenever you wanted...” deserves special attention. First, she is my wife, you should not have the authority, and Kindred advised me that it was a “legal gray area”, to deny my visitation absent the directive that John lied about or a court order. Next, my visitations were consistently plagued by the aforementioned tactics and others not stated. And lastly, your decision to “compromise and allow visitation” does not make much sense when, on the 2nd day of Andrea's hospitalization, you sent a text message to Mark asking him “Can you please make Chris leave?”.

You have consistently used the “Andrea told us...” statement to justify your actions, but as I explained before I do not believe that Andrea made those statements or made them at your request to avoid argument. In either instance they can neither be proven or verified and are contradictory to the behavior she has exhibited while hospitalized and contradictory to what she was telling me by phone and text while staying with you. Prior to obtaining a copy of the POA, John told me that Andrea specifically wrote into the Power of Attorney to forbid any visitation by me, that was a lie and set the precedent for my faith in those declarations.

I do not doubt that the visit with Patrick you are referring to went well, he did not tell me otherwise. I was also very moved the time you got on the floor with him and played football with his trading cards. I specifically remember that event because it made me wonder how you were able to act in such a loving manner and then make the switch to a cold demeanor. But, much has changed since that day, namely your failure to notify us that Andrea was transferred to ICU and your behavior when we tried to see her in ICU and has us removed from the hospital.

I have explained to you why he is uncomfortable and allowed you to hear it come from his own mouth. You have not provided any argument why you “feel we need to be there with Mark and Patrick”.

PATRICE: I feel there is no argument that you would accept.

CHRIS: As you can imagine, I feel the same way about you. You are making the assumption that I could just tell Patrick how he should feel as long as I'm OK with it. He is too smart for that.

CHRIS: I will assume we are again at an impasse. Would you please give us an update on her current condition and prognosis?